St. John’s United Church

“Doing What Comes Naturally”

“Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Ephesians 5:1-2

Oscar Wilde once said that the worst advice one could offer anyone is: “Just be yourself.” And yet, that is the theme of my sermon today - being yourself and doing what comes naturally. Now, I don’t enjoy telling you to be yourselves. I’m a preacher, after all. And preachers love to, …well…, PREACH. My kids used to hate it when I preached at home. They interpretted it to be “scolding.” Unfortunately, that’s what many people down through the years have come to expect from preachers. As William Willimon, a well-known preacher of our time, put it, “In my first church, this was the criticism I received when I asked people what they thought of my sermons. They would say, ‘Bill, you don’t step on our toes enough. You’re the preacher. You’re supposed to tell us where we’ve gone wrong, and then tell us what we need to do to get it right.’ In other words, what they were saying was, ‘We come to church for our weekly scolding” - stop smoking, be faithful to your marriage vows, don’t cheat on your income tax, be kind to your children, don’t talk dirty, don’t get angry with one another, love everybody, volunteer in the community, and clean up the church basement. You’re Christians, after all…, and should act like Christians.

Now in one way or another, we’ve all heard this line before: “You people try hard to ACT like Christians so that you can BE Christians. In fact, many, if not most, people think that this is the purpose of sermons – to give instruction on how one is supposed to straighten up and fly right so that he/she can become a Christian. However, the trouble with this line of thinking, as reasonable as it may sound, is that it gets the whole thing backwards.

Sure, the writer to the Ephesians urges his listeners to do many things: “Be angry, but do not sin… Don’t make room for the devil. Thieves must give up stealing… Let no evil talk come out of your mouths… Put away all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander…” “Do this!” “Don’t do that!” But let’s take a closer look. Paul doesn’t tell the Ephesians to do all these good things in order to BE Christians; rather, he tells them to do all these things because THEY ARE Christians. And therein lies the difference. Paul doesn’t say to them, “You folks ought to do these things so that you can be good enough for God,” rather, he says “Do these things because God has made you good. You are the ones whom God has loved, the ones for whom Christ has died. You people are not homeless, unloved, wayward nobodies; you are nothing less than royalty. Now, act like it!”

“Be imitators of God…, and live in love…
Be doers of the Word, and not Hearers only…”

It reminds me of Clayton’s birthday party. Clayton is a young friend of mine. Last year, Clayton turned four. And because four years old is a very special age, Clayton’s mother told him that he could have any kind of a birthday party he wished. “I want a party where everybody will be kings and queens,” Clayton replied, without a moment’s hesitation. And his wish was granted. His mother started to work, creating a score of golden paper crowns, royal blue crepe paper robes with gold lining, and scepters made from coat hangers and cardboard. Then, the afternoon of the party came. As the guest arrived, they were delighted to receive royal crowns, robes, and scepters. Everyone at the party was either a king or a queen. And everyone had a wonderful time. All the guests enjoyed cake and ice cream. They had a majestic procession up to the end of the road and back. All looked like kings and queens. All believed they were kings and queens. Moreover, they all ACTED like kings and queens - in a most regal way. That night, when the guests had all gone home, when the cake and ice cream had been cleared away, and Clayton was being tucked into bed by his mother, Clayton said, “I wish everybody in the whole wide world could be a king or queen - not just on my birthday, but everyday.

Well, what Clayton didn’t know was that something like that happened two thousand years ago at a place called Calvary. We, who were nobodies, became “somebodies.” We, who were outsiders – aliens to the promises of God – were made family, royalty. As vital, important members of this royal family, we are responsible to God – the head of that household. As adopted sons and daughters, you and I are called to emulate God, to follow God, and to soar within God’s orbit for our lives.

And just as Clayton wished that everybody in the whole wide world could be a king or a queen – not just on his birthday but everyday – so, too, do I wish that I could preach that message every Sunday. I wish that I could convey that word to my children and grandchildren, to my friends and to all my associates. But, unfortunately, I often get it backwards, implying that somehow they have to make the grade with me - and with God - rather than announcing to them that they have already made the grade.

As parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles, perhaps you have had occasion at one time or another to sit your child or grandchild, niece or nephew down and urge, even plead, “Make something out of yourself;” the implication being that in his/her present state, that child is not worth much. If, on the other hand, you were to sit that young person down and say, “I believe in you…;” “I love you…;” “I have high hopes for you…;” and “I know that you are capable of the best…,” I would venture to guess that, more often than not, the result would be positive. For, like those four-year-olds at the birthday party, people - no matter what their age - respond to who they believe themselves to be. And if we truly believe ourselves to be loved and accepted for who we are - not for who we have yet to become - we will eventually blossom and grow into the people God intends us to be.

“Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love,
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us,
a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

I suspect that most of us grew up in communities where certain standards of personal conduct were taken for granted. Everyone knew the standards, and those who engaged in “unacceptable” actions were readily identified and criticized. Today, however, through exposure to television and videos, as well as to different systems of values in an increasingly intercultural society, these past standards - once presumed to be binding on everyone - no longer gain unquestioning allegiance throughout a community (especially among teens and young adults). Yet, all of us are faced with the need for guidelines to help us determine our conduct. Should I do this or that? How will this decision affect later situations? How will my decision affect others?
For, just as God, through Christ, demonstrated God’s love for us, so our lives are to demonstrate such love toward people about us. In order to do this, we need to examine and re-examine the basis of our conduct - frequently. We need to ask whether our actions adequately express the life of Christ in us. The way we speak or act, the company we keep, whatever we do - whether working or playing, resting or creating, eating or sleeping - needs to be measured, not only by what pleases us, but in terms of what is pleasing to God and what is most beneficial to others.

In our lesson, St. Paul says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Now, there are some people who are going to hear these words from the epistle about living a life of love and they are going to think to themselves, “What mush. That’s too soft, too effeminate. Don’t you know you have to be tough to survive in the real world? Kindness and compassion are for wimps, not for real life.”
Read the record and you will discover that Jesus was no wimp. Neither was St. Paul. These were men of courage. They knew how to stare both danger and death in the face. Yet they also knew that little is to be gained by escalating anger and malice into a more serious confrontation. They knew that if you live by an “eye for an eye” credo, it can only produce a downward spiral of revenge and resentment. The best way to defeat an enemy is to make them an ally. So, Jesus would teach in the Sermon on the Mount, “You have heard it said, ‘An eye for eye, and a tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, ‘Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” (Matthew 5:39-41)

This is strategic kindness. It is not a justification for being a wimp. It is not a call to be soft. It is simply a recognition that violence breeds violence, whether it is physical or verbal. Hatred breeds hatred. We can turn a minor disagreement into a major conflict by the way we handle our anger. Humanity has had to work very hard at curbing tribal and national hatreds. We’ve seen that in recent years in Ireland, in the former Yugoslavia, in Africa and most especially today in the Middle East.

What is true of the world outside can be even more deadly within the family. Author Philip Yancey tells about a friend of his whose marriage has gone through tumultuous times. One night George passed a breaking point. He pounded the table and the floor. “I hate you!” he screamed at his wife. “I won’t take it anymore! I’ve had enough! I won’t go on. I won’t let it happen! No! No! No!” Several months later his friend woke up in the middle of the night and heard strange sounds coming from the room where his two-year-old son slept. He padded down the hall, stood for a moment outside his son’s door, and shivers ran through his flesh. He could not draw a breath. In a soft voice, the two-year-old was repeating word for word with precise inflection the argument between his mother and father. “I hate you . . . I won’t take it anymore . . . No! No! No!” George realized that in some awful way he had just bequeathed his pain and anger and unwillingness to forgive to the next generation.

And so we have children growing up filled with all kinds of rage, learned in the home. We have teenagers estranged from their parents, grown men and women estranged from their siblings, husbands and wives who once loved and supported one another torn by resentments that have built up over the years. So St. Paul writes, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you . . .”

For most us, that can be a very hard thing to do. In fact, it would be impossible, if not downright crazy, for us to try to imitate the love, the forgiveness, and the grace of God in our lives, were it not that we happen to be the loved, the forgiven, and the graced children of God. But the good news of the gospel is that we are under new management, and our actions are to be the outgrowth of our true inner nature. Our conduct is to show what’s inside us - whether we honour Christ or dishonour him. Our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions reflect the quality of our life before God as we seek to reflect and administer and communicate God’s never-ending love to a distorted and disjointed world.

There are many people who cannot relate to Christ’s attitude, his willingness to forgive. But, in the long run of things, it is the only hope this world has. We will never solve the problem of international terrorism with our bombs. We will never shout our way to nurturing family relationships within our homes. We will never have peace in our own hearts until we understand the power of strategic kindness — kindness that turns enemies into friends. How does that happen? Jesus, of course, said it best: “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24)

My guess is that right here in this church family there is some reconciling that needs to be done. For someone, it is a brother or a sister. For someone else, it is a parent or a teenager. For someone, it is a colleague at work. Unresolved anger and resentment destroys relationships. Unresolved anger and resentment can destroy our souls. The solution? “Be imitators of God . . .” Lay down your anger here at the altar. Return love for hatred, kindness for hostility, acceptance for rejection. Be the adult to someone else’s child. Break the cycle. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you . . .” And so, “Be yourself!” For in being yourself - a forgiven, loved, adopted, cherished, child of God - you are imitating God and doing what comes naturally. And for that we can say, ‘Thanks be to God!” Amen.

Acknowledgements: King Duncan; Philip Yancey; Myra Garvin (1994)

A meditation preached by the Rev. Myra Garvin at St. John’s United Church, Brockville
August 13, 2006 – Pentecost 10B